Bye Bye Passey

It is gone.  I just pray that it will be ok.  Justin even asked if we needed to keep ONE just in case there is a total melt down and I said no.  I wanted to say yes, lets keep a few just in case, but then I knew that I would cave at the first possible point and give it right back and then we would be right back here again!  I can only do this once.  I can't do it again!  Plus he really is doing better with each passing day.

After a 3 hour nap he woke up and I had a bunch of balloon's for him.  He was very excited to see and have the balloons.  We talked about letting go of the balloon's and that they would go up to the moon.  As a side note: God is so good!  It was supposed to be a rainy day today but it turned out really nice and by this evening there was hardly a cloud in the sky.  The moon in almost full and it was bright and beautiful tonight.  The perfect night to send pas right up to that bright shining moon.  Only God could have put that arrangement into place.  Thank you Lord!

Back to the send off.  We tied two balloon's to each pas (we sent up two).  We walked outside and made sure that we knew exactly where the moon was.  Snapped a few pictures and then let go of them one by one!  The wind sort of blew them in the opposite direction but that was fine.  He wanted to see them but because it was already mostly dark we really couldn't see them. I never thought that he would nap as long as he did; as I had planned to do it right before dark.  Either way.  They are gone and he seemed pretty ok with it. I am not sure if he really understood the finality of it all.  Justin and I both told him how proud we are of him and that he is really such a big boy now!  What a big deal.  We spent the rest of our night tonight playing with the other balloons.  That was treat enough for him....he loves playing with balloons and it entertains him for a long period of time!

Tonight as he crawled in the bed he asked for Pas.  He saw one on under his bed this morning...but that was one of the ones that we sent up to the moon.  He kept telling me that one wasn't little - meaning that it had not been cut back - but I still had to explain that there is no pas for him to have and that he is a big boy!  We also asked God for restful sleep and peaceful dreams tonight as we said our prayers.  

I know I've already said this before...but it is all very bitter-sweet.  It is hard for me to emotionally accept that he is getting to be such a big boy and that he doesn't need a pas and doesn't need a crib and is becoming so independent.  But on the other hand he is still my baby boy.  He will always be my sweet baby boy.  I think as I try and prepare mentally and emotionally for this baby girl to arrive it is the battle of another  child and knowing how once she does arrive that Collier technically will not be the baby in our house and it sort of crushes me.  I of course also pray that Collier's acceptance and adjustment to her arrival is positive and good.  I have been praying this for months.  A sweet friend of mine even shared to be praying for their relationship....that God would draw them to be close and loving siblings.  I thought that was such a sweet prayer and something that I so much desire.  I want Collier and this little girl to be close not just at first but for their entire life.  For them to always stand by one another and that they will have a very strong bond...a bond that can only be given and formed by God Himself!  Just another stepping stone in the process, but getting rid of the pas was and is a really big deal.  Maybe a bigger deal for me than him!

So, we are officially passey free and I haven thrown away all of my 'back-ups' so there is no going back.  It is official!  So proud of my Collier.

His broken pasey and My broken heart...

Wednesday as I walked out of the door I asked Justin if he would snip Collier's pasey a little more (if you remember it has already been cut in half and he has preferred it that way since).  I honestly had forgotten that I asked him to cut it and so when Justin put him in the bed that night I heard him say to Collier 'oh what is wrong with it' to which Collier responded 'where is my other pas'.  I walked in and he was trying to keep the pas in and wasn't able to.  He was searching all in his bed for his 'oder pas' and I explained that there isn't another one and that is the one.  I didn't have an explanation as to what happened to the passey so I told him that Brinkley bit the tip off.  He sort of whined about it but was ok.  But after I walked out he started crying.  As we watched him on the monitor, my heart broke.  He was holding the pasey in with his left hand and had Maurice's tag in his right hand rubbing it all over his face.  I his cry was a frustrated and sad cry...not just I am not having my way.  It broke my heart.  I wanted to go in his room and hold and snuggle with him and tell him it was going to be ok.  I wanted to give him his whole pasey again, so that he would sleep soundly.  His entire night was restless as he would cry out every few hours.  I would check the monitor and he would be holding that pasey in doing all he could to keep it in.  Sad, sad momma!  I then told myself that it was probably not exactly the best timing to do that on the night before we start back to school.

 

I know in my head that it is time to get rid of this pas.  I know that the dentist told me that we needed to get rid of it because you can tell in his teeth that he sucks on a pasey.  I know that he needs to be completely detached from it by the time that his little sister arrives. I know all of this, but my heart breaks because he really wanted it and likes it when he goes to sleep. I want him to have what he needs in order to sleep good and comfortable and that is what the pasey provided...comfort!  So, this is just part of the process.  It may take a few nights or even a few weeks to adjust to this but I also know that the sooner we start this the better off I'll be.  

I mentioned that maybe we should just throw the pas away and he told me no.  I really don't have a plan on where we go from here.  But I am just going to pray that this process will be easy and that he'll adjust to this change with some level of ease. I don't want him to be sad.  I also don't want his really good sleeping habits to be changed either!

Thursday morning I called my mom and ask her to do the same to her passey's so that when she picked him up from school he didn't have a 'good' pas at her house and a broken one at our house.  That day he didn't nap!  Yikes.  But on the way home that night I was talking to him about his pas and that we really don't need it any more;  the moon was very clear and very bright.  He loves to look for the moon on our way home and when we get home always makes a point to find it once we get out of the car.  So, I asked him if we maybe should send pas up to the moon and let the moon hold pas for us?  I told him he could pick out the balloons and we could say buy buy to the passey's.  So, I think that is my plan now.

Thursday Night: it was better.  He only cried for a few minutes but was still quite a bit restless through the night.  He did a lot of kicking and I think that he kicked Maurice too far under the covers to actually find him in half sleep mode.  Pas was under his pillow and he never found that either.  I don't think that either of us slept well.

Friday: He napped fine and we just didn't talk about pas at all.  No mention of it at all.  Friday night he asked for it and found it in his bed.  He put it in and then took it out and put it to the side.  I told him that he didn't need it.  He slept soundly through the night without any crying out or restlessness!  Thank you Lord...I did pray hard in my quiet times this week that this would be an easy process and adjustment for Collier [and me].

If I can get myself in gear...aka showered and dressed for the day - it is 2:00 and I haven't done either!  I want to go and let him pick out a few balloons so that we can send them off this afternoon!  Ok. so I'm obviously in need of a shower...off to start with that for getting my day going.  [Just to give myself a little credit - although I haven't had a shower or really gotten past sweats and a t-shirt.  We did manage to take down  and put away all of our Christmas stuff today.  I am also working on some more organization and straightening...I am not completely worthless :)]

2011 Fav's

Instead of doing a recap of 2011...I would like to share my favorite parts of 2011! [which is honestly a recap, just not a typical slideshow type recap that I have done in the past]

These are in NO particular order:

1.  Priscilla Shirer bible study (Jonah) with the sweetest group of girls this summer.  I think the combination of the study, God's word and these ladies gave me the best spiritual season of the entire year! It was a serious time of spiritual growth for me that I am so grateful for.

2.  My little monkey turned TWO....it was fun to prepare and celebrate his birthday with a train party!  Loved it...It was just our families and it was just right for his 2nd Birthday!

3.  Making sourdough bread...I am not sure that I would say I achieved this to perfection, but I did make several loaves and it is not only fun to experiment but fun to find good ways to use the bread.  I hope to continue to work on this and hopefully get better and better at creating.  To be honest, I just love to cook and bake.  I am not GREAT at it but I do enjoy being in the kitchen and trying something new!


4.  Our trip to Tampa...Collier's first time flying.  Getting to experience the excitement of a new adventure plus our time with the Crews' is always extra special to us.  We also loved our weekend at the lake with all of them...

5.  Our Kitchen upgrades...I love having the extra counter space! I need to do a separate post on this one with pictures to document what all we did!

6.  Finding out that I am pregnant and then that it is a girl! what a HUGE blessing and answer to a life long prayer! OH my goodness can't wait to meet our little Ms. Priss.

7.  Collier started school - two days a week and even still we are adjusting and learning about this school thing!  He has done good, but it has been a year of adjustments!

8.  I am not sure that I would categorize this as a necessary favorite...but the fact of the matter is that Collier is getting to be a big boy.  As much as I want him to stay little and a baby, he won't but I will always view him as my baby boy.  But since he does have to grow up, I am awfully proud at how well he has done this year with some major changes[which all shout: 'I'm growing up'].  Experiencing and successfully achieving potty training!  Moving from his crib to a big boy bed.   As stated in #7 going to school.  Being in the children's program at CBS.  

9.  Justin and team [O'possum Trots] winning the Tri-State cook off.  It was just a really fun weekend but the  fact that they won like they did was just icing on the cake!

10.  Memory Verses....participating, learning and committing scripture to memory.  I participated in Beth Moore's challenge of Scripture Memory.  I memorized 2 scripture verses per month that I got to choose and I am thrilled that I completed it and did it!  I am still working on some of them - the word for word or really knowing the correct reference.  But others are strong and steady stored on my heart! Rejoice!  Scripture memory is not one of my strong points, and this was just my first step in the direction of doing better with that!  I plan to continue the memorization this year and maybe just focus on one per month instead of two.  Beth only does the actual challenge every other year...but was glad to get into this habit and really knowing God's living word.  I actually hesitated initially at even doing this because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it.  But God provided through Him I did it and I am so glad that I did! 

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from this year:

New Years Weekend

New years brought my brother and his family up to Birmingham this year.  People, Christmas is just now over for our family!  We literally did 4 different celebrations this year and each of them brought special moments and more memories made!  It was great fun, but I am also glad to have it all behind me and I am READY FOR SOME ROUTINE!

Chris, Amanda, Ashlyn and Hayden all arrived for us to celebrate our fourth and final Christmas.

 My parents got all of the kids fishing poles for the lake.  And since Collier found them a few days before he was supposed to that is all that he has talked about.  I thought it would be fun to go and let them fish and get some outdoor time since the weather was nice...although a little windy.  We went to star lake and fed the ducks, geese and swan, did a little fishing [as you can see CH gets his love of fishing honest...Justin didn't miss the opportunity to get a few cast in as well] and then we walked one loop around the lake.  I think that Collier really enjoyed it and we will have to go back again one day when it isn't so windy!  He LOVES to 'dish' and use his 'dishen pole'

We had a very delicious New Year's Day Dinner [that Mom considered Christmas dinner since it was the only time she had us all together] and Ihate more than I should have and enjoyed every single bite!  I am really glad that Chris and Amanda were willing to come up here for the weekend.  I loved being home yet having them here.  If I could only convince them to come back more often :)

We did start to take down our Christmas decorations today and will take down the tree and village next weekend. It all went by so fast and I know that the next few months will speed by just as fast.  Before we know it a little girl will arrive and be welcomed into our family.  It is just too hard to believe she will be here in just 3 short months.  So much to look forward to, yet looking back 2011 was already filled with such great moments and many abundant blessings.  

Christmas Eve & Day

Christmas Eve we decided to go to the early church service that was toddler friendly.  It was a very good service with lots of children participating in the Christmas pageant (next year Collier will be able to participate) that was just too cute.  We then had a relaxing afternoon before Santa stopped by on his route around the world to delivery toys (this is a fun tradition that has been in our family for years and one of my most favorite and cherished memories every single Christmas).  Collier acted like it was no big deal at all for Santa to be in his house!  I may have been as excited as he was! He was too funny.

Christmas morning he woke up thrilled to see that Santa came back and ate his cookies and brought him a 'chtooter'.  He got on it immediately and then rode all around the house on the scooter, needless to say he was very happy.  He was also happy to hear that he could finally OPEN those presents that had been sitting under the tree.  I was shocked that he didn't immediately get into the gifts under the tree and his stocking.  After he rode on his scotter a little he was ready for his morning 'nanna' and tv time.  It was perfect as it allowed me to get breakfast cooked and we ate before opening gifts.  It was really nice, fun and relaxing.  We then showered and headed to Mom and Dad's for the afternoon/evening.

Funny side note: Brinkley got up in the middle of the night 

and ate Santa's cookies.  thankfully Daddy realized it and 

replenished for Santa :) 

(grandparents:CH doesn't know this....our little secret)

The next day was equally as good, another day full of playing with new toys.  Time together around the house and just a day at home.  I didn't leave the house all day yesterday, matter of fact I didn't even put on makeup or shoes which really made me happy.

I am working slowly on getting our house organized, cleaned out and in order (as much as I can with all of Christmas decorations still out).  January is going to bring some major re-arranging to make room for little Ms.Priss!  Should be fun, but certainly a challenge in our little house :)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I loved this video (you have probably already seen it) but the simplicity of the story and the children are just perfect for this Christmas morning, as we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy this year! I hope that you'll come by my house tonight.  I am glad that I got to see you a few times before Christmas, I always get so excited to see you and sit on your lap.  I just wanted to let you know what I want for Christmas.  I would really appreciate if you could fit this down our chimney

But if that is just too big, I'll take one of these instead (preferably not pink please!)

I baked cookies for you and Rudolf and I hope you enjoy them

With love,

Collier

The only thing that Collier has asked for all season is a cooder..aka tooter.  If I ask him what else he wants he says 'just a tooter that all'.  But he certainly loved the 4-wheelers at Bass Pro Shops and would love one of those as well...he just doesn't know yet what his asking potential is.  Thankfully:)

Christmas - Round 2

Justin's Dad and Cher made the trip up to Birmingham to celebrate with us.  When I mentioned that we are not traveling this year, I know that I sort of made things complicated for the rest of our family.  But I am so thankful to have their support.  Although they may not like that we are staying here, they have not said anything and have been but supportive.  I certainly appreciate that and am thankful for my family...ALL of our parents are so awesome.


Thank you Papoo and Nunny for making this special trip up just for us.  I wish we had more time but I am thankful for what we did get with yall.  Very sweet of you to take the time for us.

Collier was so excited to get to open presents and he was even more thrilled with what was in those wrapped presents!  So much fun.... and I am not sure if Collier or Justin had more fun with the remote control tractor!  I will admit that he just looks so stink'n cute in his football stuff, it is just all the wrong colors!  He was brain washed by his Daddy before I even knew it and now his grandparents are reinforcing it :)

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!!!  Its almost here, I'm so excited.

Christmas Week..A Big Change

It is just hard to believe that Christmas is so near already.   I want so bad for everything to be perfect this year.  As a result this desire has added stress for sure, self-induced stress that is!  I am trying to enjoy but at the same time trying to also pull it all together to make it all just right.  After all this is a very different Christmas.  This is our very first ever Christmas in Birmingham since Justin and I have been married.  Matter of fact, it has been well over 12 years (right mom) that we have done Christmas here.  I have documented that Justin (who is my real life Christmas Elf) and I love this time of year.  And so, for the most amazing and special time of year I want it to be extra fun and extra special this year since we are home.  We can do it our way and be on our own schedule.  But in that effort,  I feel like I am working myself into a freenzy and an un-necessary one at that.  Usually about this time I throw my hands up and say what is done is done because I have to start packing and getting ready to travel South.  But now, I have that extra time and can do those extra things that I think of.  But maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe I should just slow down and have the extra down time with my boys.  Just make the most of our time together rather than my time!    I wrapped up the last of my shopping yesterday.   I have several things that I want to bake but time in the kitchen is fun for me and I am looking forward to that most.  It is a little bitter sweet to have this huge change in schedule.  It is hard because we were used to going to Dothan and the Lake and making our rounds to be with everyone on Christmas.  I love family and think it is important to do and be with family, so I am missing that.  But I am excited that we are starting our new traditions as a little family this year  (It sounds and even feels a little selfish).  It is hard to try and squeeze in so much family time in just a day or two, so it has been nice to spread it out a little and enjoy a little more time with each family than we would if we did it like we normally do [have you seen Four Christmas'?  that was sort of us] .  But this year I really want it to be about Collier because never again will he have a Christmas all to himself.

Wednesday we went and saw Santa again! Collier is certainly comfortable with Santa and for that I am thankful! And then that night we met Lindsey and Hunter for dinner and then we all piled in Justin's car and drove around to look at Christmas lights. It was something that we've talked about for years and finally did this year. It was so much fun and we laughed a lot. Hunter and Justin are both critics when it comes to Christmas lights and they were not afraid to share their opinion. It was jut fun to be with friends and enjoy each others company while looking at all of the Christmas lights.    Collier was ready to 'go home' about 5 minutes into the ride and before long he was fast asleep, so he missed most of the fun but was perfectly content snoring away in his car seat as we enjoyed the lights.

Last night we had a pajama party at one of our neighbor's house.  it sure is fun to not have to plan or think of what I am going to wear to another function or party....We just put on some PJ's and walked across the street.  Collier and I didn't last very long but it was still a late night.

I have to run to the grocery and then to do a Santa drop and I will be done.  I will be ready to kick off my boots and just RELAX.  whew.

So Much to Celebrate

We do have so much to celebrate at this time of year.  The  most important is Jesus alone is reason to celebrate but the joy in this celebration is that we don't have to just wait until this time of year but Jesus is reason enough to celebrate all year, every day, every minute.  It is a joy, blessing and just plain honor to have Christ, the Savior, the King of kings, the One who came to save, the Great I am in your heart!  Our God is a huge and big God....but He is also a God who loves, understands and wants to be in the details of our life as well.  When I am praying or talking to God I like to imagine Jesus sitting with me, or that I am curled up in His arms or maybe he is sitting with me in the car while I am driving.  The feeling of knowing that He is right there is so personal and comforting!  I came across a flyer in an old bible study this week and I wanted to share..  The name on the flyer is Jill Phillips and from the words below it is clearly a song!  Not sure if Jill wrote it or just performs it....

I Am

oh gently lay your head upon my chest 

and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest

the tide can change so fast, but I will stay the same

through past, the same in the future, same today

I am constant; I am near

I am peace that shatters all your secret fears

I am holy; I am wise

I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires

your heart's desires

oh weary, tired and worn, let out your signs

and drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light

I know you through and through; there's no need to hide

I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

'cause I am constant; I am near

I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires


I am constant; I am near

I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires


oh gently lay your head upon my chest 
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest.

On the back side of the flyer are these verse references:

John 16:33 'I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.'

Matthew 11:28-30 'Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light'

Isn't that just a relief?  rest, little burden...just what I need this time of year!  I love this sweet reminder

Psalm 139:1-4, 13-14 'O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all of my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your woks are wonderful and I know that full well. '

Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Chris is the same yesterday and today and forever."

I have read these every day this week.  In my constant effort to stay focused so that I don't fall apart like I did a week a go.  I need this focus and rest in Him so that as I do the worldly part of Christmas that I will at least do it with His joy in my heart rather than trying to do it just to get it done!  I want ti to be fun for all of us as we prepare for this Christmas 2011!  I hope that these words will speak to you like they have spoken to me.