Friday morning as I was in the shower it occured to me that I may not have taken my pumped goods out of my little cooler and put it in the frig the night before. My blood pressure spiked
I'm sure as I rushed to get done with the shower to see if I had done it or not. After all, this was Collier's feedings for Friday. Run, dripping wet, with only a towel wrapped around me to look into that cooler and see 15oz sitting there. With a glimpse of hope, but knowing it was no good I rush to the computer to look up Madela's rules on how long breast milk is good in a cooker (it did at least have an ice pack in it) tears begin to run down my face and I don't know if I was really sad, angry or disappointed. Actually I was all of those things. Nope. I had to poor all of that out and I just can not tell you how badly it upset me. I cried the whole time I was emptying the bottles and then I just got mad and started stomping around. Justin really tried to make it better and tell me it wasn't that bad and that I was not the first or last mother to do this....It didn't make me feel any better... I took a deep breath, wiped away my tears, unclenched my teeth and asked God to reveal to me what I was supposed to learn from this situation. I chilled out and tried to enjoy the rest of my morning before I had to go to work. So back to the saying.....I did cry over spilled milk and hope to not have to do it again!
I am very hard on myself about these sorts of things. It is stupid and dumb that I didn't even consider putting that away yet the cheese and eggs seemed to make it to the refrigerator just perfectly. How dumb. I'm still waiting to understand and know the exact reason. Maybe to lighten up a little. Probably though that I am NOT in total control and to let go and let Him!