Monday, November 9, 2009

I've been meaning to post for the past several days and every time I sat down, I couldn't quite figure out what I was going to I just didn't.

Justin was out of town all of last week - Annual Sales Meeting in Orlando. His sweet mom came to stay with me to keep me company see Collier. It is really so great to have a wonderful MIL. I can be honest with her and she loves that little boy to pieces (who wouldn't?). She is willing to leave her sweet husband to come and spend days with us, she moves around dentist appointment, hair appointments and travel arrangements to be here for us. I couldn't ask for more and I am so thankful that she was here this week with us! Thanks Mela for being here and for all of your help!

Wednesday we went Collier's 6 month check up. He is 16LB 14OZ and 27" Long. I really expected him to weight much more. Everything checked out perfectly and we're increasing our meals to three per day of solids instead of two. His newest foods have been carrots and pears last week. The doctor even told me he could have yogurt, so we're going to try this this week. He has been doing better but is still waking up during the night. Only one time the past several nights, which isn't too bad. But I really am ready for him to get back to sleeping through the nights. I do think that he is teething and I feel bad that he isn't feeling good...I just hate it for him. This morning when I was holding him at 5am....I was just looking at him and how sweet and peaceful he was laying in my arms fast asleep! My heart feels so complete with love over flowing in a way that I have never felt before. It brought a funny thought to mind. When I was in middle or high school (I can't remember exactly) I decided that I wanted a bird. We had two dogs and I wanted a pet that was all to myself and I knew that another dog would be out of the question. So, I decided on a bird. Mom said that I could get one and I remember her asking my why I wanted a bird and all I could think was because I wanted something that was mine to love wholly. That was one crazy bird and I did love it but I wanted it to give a complete love to me and it just isn't possible that a bird could do that (at the time I never would have understood that). I know that the whole and complete love comes from God himself. He is the only one that can fill up and over flow my love and joy. But looking at Collier in my arms this morning I felt that completeness and total satisfaction - I felt God's love and boy it is abundant!! I just love Collier to pieces and it is so satisfying to be able to care for him and provide for him. Gosh what a blessing!

Which sort of brings me to my next topic. My job. I've been home for the past 2 weeks and I am so thankful for this time that I've had with Collier. I love every minute of it and really God's timing couldn't have been more perfect (of course). With Collier not sleeping through the night and me not having to be at work, it hasn't been so bad at all. I am job searching! I have a few possibles but nothing concrete yet. Several times a day I think about it and will start to panic about what am I going to do and oh I need a job and how will a new job affect my time with Collier and will it be an environment that is pumping friendly. Then I have to hand it over to God and trust that He is in control. He already has a place specifically for me. I am trusting that He will provide for me and for our family through all of this. It is so easy to want to take control myself, but I don't want to (even though naturally I try to continuously) I really want to be where God wants me to be.

I can't believe that it is already November and before we know it Thanksgiving will have come and gone! I am trying to take in every minute of being home and especially as we approach the Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have so much to be thankful!

1 comment:

The Skeldings said...

Isn't it amazing what "motherhood" brings to you?? Before Lucy was 1, I called my mother and thanked her. I told her something along the lines (if not in these exact words) that I never knew how much she loved me and all the sacrifices she made for me. I told her that I loved her, appreciated her, and respected her more and more every day. Lucy, without knowing, has brought to me love, personal strength and courage, showing me that my sacrifices are well worth her growth and the love I give. (I guess it is the same as the Father above did and continues to do for us.) Thinking of you...enjoy motherhood...I am starting to realize - it just gets better the older they get!!