Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Goodbye Passey!

Is it Paci?  Or Pacey or Passey?  I can never spell it correctly.  Regardless that thing is GONE! I have a real love-dislike relationship with the Pass (as we call it in our house).  I love it because!  I really don't like it when they can talk and are walking around with it in their mouth (sometimes they are so cute with it though) .  I love it because it comforts and sooth's which means that sleep comes pretty easy.  I dislike it because they get so attached and dependent.  And I really dislike how hard it becomes to take away.. it is heart breaking and yet has to be done. So on August 15th, we woke up and talked and talked some more about saying goodbye to passey.  Today is the day!!  My stomach churned and turned and I was nervous and really would rather just leave it as it is and not have to go through the adjustment.  I know exactly how determined this little baby girl is and I had decided it was time and I had to stick with it.  I told her we were doing it and Momma had to accept it as much as Kenley girl.

  And the ends of all her passey's were basically in shredsfrom her chewing on them so cutting the end approach wouldn't work for this one.  
I packed my baby girl up on that Friday morning and we went to Build A Bear with Pass in hand.  We had talked for weeks about saying goodbye to pass and the time had come.  We picked a bunny to be the recipient of that passey.  It was her favorite one - purple with a horse on it.   The ladies at Build A Bear were great.  I went back and forth on if I wanted her to really have it in the bunny or if I should have them sneak it out and not really be in there.  But decided to leave it in there (which now in hind-sight may not be the smartest).  She was clearly clueless of the real finality of putting it in the bunny because she did it willingly and with a smile!

 They even made her a special name tag to celebrate no more pass!
 We made it though and off we went.  Her next reward was riding the carousel and she was very very happy and no complaints at all!

And then as we got in the car she asked where her passey was.  I reminded her that it was in Bunny and it was all gone bye bye.  My heart sunk a little lower - it was done.  and nap time was a coming!
She didn't nap for 2 days crying for pass.  She tried to bite the bunny's tail off and told me over and over to get it out of the bunny.  This is why I would say not to really leave it in because she can find and feel it and really does know it is in there!  I reassured her that we could not get it out.  We rocked.  we swayed.  we sang and nothing helped to calm her down.  I was tempted to give in and giver her one that I had stashed.  But I told myself now or again in 2 weeks or 2 months - so I held tight.  I cried for her and with her.  She bounced around her crib.  She screamed.  She sang songs.  She cock-a-doodle-doo'd.  She did it all and I just had to let her work it out in her crib.  It was not fun.

We pushed through the rest of the day with no nap.  Enter BEST MOM IN THE WORLD.  Justin and I had a baby shower for a good friend and my Mom was willing to babysit the kids.  she took them to the park to be sure that Kenley was good and tired.  But at bed time Kenley cried for Pass.  So Mom laid with her in our bed, she rocked her, she sang to her, she sat on the couch with her, she read books to her and she wouldn't settle down.  By the time we got home she had fallen asleep.  Around 1am she woke up screaming crying.  She cried and screamed so hard that I thought that something was wrong with her.  For a full hour the sweet girl was hysterical and nothing settled her down.  I finally told her she had two options: car ride or lay on the couch with me.  She wanted to lay down on the couch and within 10 minutes she was sound asleep.  We slept very restlessly for a while.  Collier even woke up and joined us for a few minutes.  She would just lay and scream even with her eyes closed - it was cries of devastation.  And this Momma wanted so badly to give that stashed pass to her and calm and sooth her and make it all better.  After-all, I had exactly what she wanted but didn't need.  I stood my ground and loved her through it.  I finally was able to get her sleep and back in her bed.  Have I mentioned that I have the BEST Mom EVER!!  She doesn't handle crying well so this is not the ideal job for her but she was willing and amazing to love her through her first night night with no passey.

Saturday was much of the same.  She refused to nap, she asked for pass.  She tried to bite bunny's tail off to get pass out.  She told me she didn't want to be a big girl, she wanted passey and not big girl.  I was crushed.  I stood my ground, I fought through. I prayed.  I asked God to comfort as only He could.  Saturday night I rocked, I read, I sang and finally just had to let her work through it in her bed.  She cried, she fought and she finally gave in.  She only woke up the first time and was about about an hour.  Second time she was only up about 15 minutes and the third time was a potty break and back to bed.
Sunday - she napped!  She napped for 3 hours!  Ahhh.  Justin put her to bed on Sunday night and she went right to sleep.!  Praise the Lord.  It was hard.  It was sad. but now it was worth it.  I prayed my heart out.  I laid this little girl at His feet with confidence that He would provide and allow her to get through it.  It was tough [as most things with her are] but we did it and I am so thankful.

She carried BunBun with her a lot.  She snuggles with BunBun.  She will explain to anyone that asks that her Pass is in BunBun and will even tell you exactly where in BunBun it is (because she can feel it).  It has now been a few weeks and just this week she got a boo-boo and was crying and asked for Passey and I reminded her that it was gone but gave her BunBun and she was all set! I am so thankful to have it behind us.  I told her tonight how proud and how thankful that I am of her being a big girl with no passey!

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