Bye Bye Passey

It is gone.  I just pray that it will be ok.  Justin even asked if we needed to keep ONE just in case there is a total melt down and I said no.  I wanted to say yes, lets keep a few just in case, but then I knew that I would cave at the first possible point and give it right back and then we would be right back here again!  I can only do this once.  I can't do it again!  Plus he really is doing better with each passing day.

After a 3 hour nap he woke up and I had a bunch of balloon's for him.  He was very excited to see and have the balloons.  We talked about letting go of the balloon's and that they would go up to the moon.  As a side note: God is so good!  It was supposed to be a rainy day today but it turned out really nice and by this evening there was hardly a cloud in the sky.  The moon in almost full and it was bright and beautiful tonight.  The perfect night to send pas right up to that bright shining moon.  Only God could have put that arrangement into place.  Thank you Lord!

Back to the send off.  We tied two balloon's to each pas (we sent up two).  We walked outside and made sure that we knew exactly where the moon was.  Snapped a few pictures and then let go of them one by one!  The wind sort of blew them in the opposite direction but that was fine.  He wanted to see them but because it was already mostly dark we really couldn't see them. I never thought that he would nap as long as he did; as I had planned to do it right before dark.  Either way.  They are gone and he seemed pretty ok with it. I am not sure if he really understood the finality of it all.  Justin and I both told him how proud we are of him and that he is really such a big boy now!  What a big deal.  We spent the rest of our night tonight playing with the other balloons.  That was treat enough for him....he loves playing with balloons and it entertains him for a long period of time!

Tonight as he crawled in the bed he asked for Pas.  He saw one on under his bed this morning...but that was one of the ones that we sent up to the moon.  He kept telling me that one wasn't little - meaning that it had not been cut back - but I still had to explain that there is no pas for him to have and that he is a big boy!  We also asked God for restful sleep and peaceful dreams tonight as we said our prayers.  

I know I've already said this before...but it is all very bitter-sweet.  It is hard for me to emotionally accept that he is getting to be such a big boy and that he doesn't need a pas and doesn't need a crib and is becoming so independent.  But on the other hand he is still my baby boy.  He will always be my sweet baby boy.  I think as I try and prepare mentally and emotionally for this baby girl to arrive it is the battle of another  child and knowing how once she does arrive that Collier technically will not be the baby in our house and it sort of crushes me.  I of course also pray that Collier's acceptance and adjustment to her arrival is positive and good.  I have been praying this for months.  A sweet friend of mine even shared to be praying for their relationship....that God would draw them to be close and loving siblings.  I thought that was such a sweet prayer and something that I so much desire.  I want Collier and this little girl to be close not just at first but for their entire life.  For them to always stand by one another and that they will have a very strong bond...a bond that can only be given and formed by God Himself!  Just another stepping stone in the process, but getting rid of the pas was and is a really big deal.  Maybe a bigger deal for me than him!

So, we are officially passey free and I haven thrown away all of my 'back-ups' so there is no going back.  It is official!  So proud of my Collier.